Work-life balance: Is this actually a thing or just a myth?

Adventures in Life

It’s Sunday night. The kids have off from school the next day for Martin Luther King Jr. day. My oldest knows we have plans to go to the trampoline park. The other two just know we are going on an adventure, which is what I tell them when I have a surprise planned for them.

As Monday morning looms closer, I think for a brief moment of changing my mind and canceling. I have too much to do. I have house chores and work tasks. I need to go grocery shopping. My oldest has two soccer events in the evening. But, hold on, wait just a minute, I say to myself. There will always be chores and business tasks and stuff on the calendar. I am allowed to take the boys and have fun! I can do the work tomorrow. It’s a balancing act; right, learning to balance work life with mom life and everything else in between.

Monday morning came and off we went on our adventure.

These smiles right here show it was well worth it.

But is work-life balance actually a thing or just a myth?  Much has been written and said about it. I know what I am about to say may be a little controversial, but it’s my opinion that work-life balance is a myth. 

The Balancing Act 

Picture a balance beam. Imagine you are on that balance beam. As you walk across it, you may find yourself tilting to one side, so you work to counterbalance the effect of gravity so you can be upright and not fall. You walk a couple of steps and then you start to teeter a bit and need to regain your balance. Life is very much like a balance beam. You have moments in life where you feel in balance, things are going smooth; but how long does it last before something happens to try to throw you off balance? Life will throw you curveballs. Your kids will get sick. You will get sick. Your internet may go down or your laptop dies.  The list could go on. 

I no longer try to be in balance. Because when you put your focus and attention on one thing; inevitably something else is not getting that focus and attention. If you are focusing on work, you’re probably not focusing 100% on your kids. Or, if you work from home with kids around, you are constantly going back and forth with your attention. Stop trying to achieve perfect balance in work and in life. It doesn’t exist. It’s just an illusion. If you are always striving to have this 50/50 balance in life, then you may just get stuck on the balance beam, always trying to maintain that balance and therefore never taking any steps forward or making any progress on what you desire.

A New Perspective 

I’d like to share with you an alternative to the concept of work-life balance. When I read about it, it was like cue the mic drop. My mind screamed YES - this is what we need. We don’t need work-life balance, we need work-life integration. 

You may be asking what is work-life integration and how is that different from work-life balance? 

Well, for me, work-life integration is about managing expectations. This is not as easy as it sounds. I have slipped back into old habits of expecting things to go a certain way, that I’m going to get x,y, and z done. But, for the most part, when I expect certain things, life throws me a curveball. Sometimes these curveballs are small and sometimes they are big; but I try to take a breath, give myself grace and look to where my focus needs to be in the face of them.

Soon after I decided to start my freelance business, the boys' Christmas Break from school was approaching. In my head, I fully expected to be able to get more done, since my oldest would be home to help out with the younger two. What happened next? Sick kiddos or a/ka curveball. So, while I managed to get some tasks done, it wasn’t as much as I expected because I had to reshift my balance or focus. I thought, well when they go back to school, then I can really focus. Nope, cue me getting sick. This was a frustrating and hard lesson for me. I was trying to be all the things and it wasn’t attainable or realistic. 

Integration 

Instead of trying to balance work and life, work on integrating the two. This is much more attainable and in my opinion comes with less stress. If we stop trying to win this sometimes uphill battle in life or like walking into the wind, reverse it and walk with the wind at your back. Work in tandem with your life, with your business, with whatever journey you are on. Throw work-life balance to the curb and work on work-life integration. 

What do you think about this perspective on work-life integration? Does it resonate with you? Or if it doesn’t, do you favor the balancing act? Share with me - I would love to hear what you think!